Warning: May cause your head to spin – Liz’s rant

It should’ve been enough that I was already trying to keep my head from spinning off my shoulders. I was dealing with not one, but TWO issues of political correctness run amok.

According to a story in the Associated Press,  the Journal of Animal Ethics recommends that phrases like “drunk as a skunk,” and  “eat like a pig” be dropped from our vocabulary. While we’re at it, apparently we need to quit using words like “beast” and critter,” too. Apparently, it’s the words we use that cause some to abuse animals. Isn’t that always the way it is…

Another story referred to the chiding of the military for using Geronimo as code name when the Navy SEAL team killed Osama bin Laden, who is swimming with the fishes now. Or should I say “swimming with “gilled companions”…

I’m going out on a limb, here, and say that I can almost guarantee that not a single SEAL in that elite fighting force was thinking, “wow, we really got back at the real Geronimo, didn’t we?” In fact, it’s probably safe to say that none of them gave it as much as a millisecond of thought.

But according to at least one woman, the military is making things “more toxic” with the use of terms like Blackhawk, Tomahawk and Apache. Have you seen a Blackhawk helicopter? It’s one bad-%ss chopper. Tomahawk missiles? I don’t want to be in their path. Why? Because to me, these terms are far from being derogatory. They’re terms of pride and strength. Not terms for which justice must be demanded.And should the Navy ever decide to commission the USS Crazy Liz, (which I really don’t see happening…) I will be all for it!

Sometimes I wonder if you could see through the skin of these people. Then again, after running across an unrelated article in Woman’s Day magazine, I fear the problem goes much deeper. Check out a few of these labels – and hold your head so it doesn’t spin…

• I posted this gem on Facebook right after Christmas. My daughter had gotten a new flat iron that came with this on the label: “Warning: Do not use while sleeping.” Apparently this warning is on hair dryers as well. And thank goodness. The last time I dried or flattened my hair in my sleep was… well… never.
• How about a nice warning on a pair of Super Man pajamas? Oh, say something like… “Warning: Wearing of the garment does not enable you to fly.” Do you think that applies to my Super Woman pj’s too? Sigh – to think I have to find out like this.
• Dremel has this warning label on  a rotary tool: “This product is not intended for use as a dental drill, in human or veterinary medical applications.” At last, dentists around the world can breathe easier as “do your own dental surgery” is squelched once and for all.
• This one may be my favorite though. Appearing on an iPod Shuffle, the label simply reads: “Warning Do not eat iPod Shuffle.” I guess just because its maker is Apple, it’s… well… really not an… apple.

Enough said. Check out the rest of the warning labels here.

-Liz