Liz’s Rants: The wienie roast

Here’s the thing. If you read my weekly Palooza column (and if you like really strange holidays, you should), you already know how the Cancer Project plans to send hot dogs hiking.

But it seems they’ve gone to new heights. They are now suing Kraft (makers of Oscar Mayer dogs), Sara Lee, Nathan’s Famous, Sabrett, and Hebrew National, demanding they place wiener warning (WARNING: Ol’ Frank here causes CANCER) labels on packages sold in New Jersey.

Sure, the official warning label will probably be worded a bit differently, but you get the point – and can probably almost hear their staff meeting pep talk: “Today, we ban hot dogs in New Jersey! Tomorrow, we take over the world!!”

Oddly enough, turns out the Cancer Project is a vegan advocacy group… wait a minute! Aren’t vegans anti-meat?? Who coulda seen that coming?

Straight from their own website come these words: “The good news is that more fresh vegetables, fruits, and low-fat meatless meals can reduce the risk of cancer.” (Emphasis mine.) See, this isn’t soley about hotdogs.

It’s about all meat.

I seem to remember a nasty little spinach issue a year or two ago (gee – I thought E coli applied only to cookie dough). It’s not just spinach – Salmonella and E coli can be found in other fruits and veggies as well. But don’t expect the Cancer Project to bring that up. I’m sure that’s very different.

But as I pointed out in Monday’s rant, I had a feeling the DingDong police were coming. And if they’re already going after the hotdog – a staple of summertime cookouts for more than a 100 years, I think we know what’s coming next.

So might I suggest you relish in a little trip down memory lane as we close out today’s rant, with what I suspect is the most famous of all odes to the hot dog:

I’m just sayin…

-Liz

Enjoy your Coffee Break!

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