You’d think I’d have some grand celebratory idea for Sept. 13 since it is International Chocolate Day, but frankly I’m a little sick of all these chocolate-themed holidays.

Yes, I realize there’s really nothing else going on until the end of the week, but I don’t care. You wanna celebrate International Chocolate Day? Be my guest. I’ll be doing my nails.

I’m thinking you’re gonna follow suit when you realize that instead of stuffing your mouth with bon-bons, you could be getting ready for Sept. 19, when we celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day.

It should go without saying that simply talking like a pirate just won’t do this day justice. Here’s what you’ll need:

• eye patch
• parrot (preferably one that talks)
• peg leg
• treasure box  (filled, of course)
• hook hand (optional)

Your greeting for the day? “Arrrgh, Matey!” Say it everywhere you go, using it in place of hello and goodbye. You could have a pirate’s feast dinner, play “Pin the Patch on the Pirate,” offering treasure from the treasure box to the winner, and watch movies like Hook and Pirates of the Caribbean.

If you really want to be the life of the party, get your pirate name. Yours truly is “Canker” Antonia Straw (nice…).

Needless to say, the possibilities are endless. I would suggest emailing Kate for additional ideas – something makes me think this holiday will be right up her galley, er, alley.

That’s it for now (isn’t that enough?!?!). Until next week, get your party on!