First, I need to prepare you for the fact that wacky holidays are rather slim pickins for the next couple of weeks. But by mid-month, the action picks up again.

Let’s start with Sandwich Day on Nov. 3. Certainly we’d all agree that there’s nothing particularly strange about sandwiches, but I do find it odd that sandwiches would need their own holiday. What do I know…

Perhaps the funniest sandwich story comes from Iran, where, in 2008, participants went to work building the World’s Largest Sandwich. Stretching nearly a mile in length, the ostrich meat-based fare required more than 1,000 volunteers to slap this sandwich together. At some point, the natives grew restless and the tale of the world’s largest sandwich hopeful took a decided turn for the worse. The crowd, exhibiting even less sense than patience, dug into the sandwich, devouring it in a matter of minutes, leaving no evidence behind save a few crumbs here and there.

Which brings us to our next holiday on Nov. 4 – a holiday that, had the Iranians been aware of, could have sealed their spot in the record books of sandwiches: Use Your Common Sense Day.

What saddens me most is that common sense needs a holiday. How hard is it to employ a little bit of common sense on a daily basis, people?

This common sense thing ties right in with another holiday celebrated on Nov. 4 – National Men Make Dinner Day. I think anyone having just a little common sense would know that any man willing to make dinner only on one lone night of the year might find himself a little lonely – not to mention quite hungry.

On Nov. 6, we have the prime opportunity to get rid of the wrinkling faces of our Jack-O-Lanterns as we celebrate Pumpkin Chunkin’ Days (which actually runs through Nov. 8). I’m sure this one is self-explanatory – bust your pumpkins into pieces before disposing of it. You could employ a variety of techniques to dismember Jack. Drop from a balcony, attack with a hammer, run over him with your car – you get the point. Take the chunks and see who can toss one the farthest, or pretend the pieces are a puzzle and see if you can re-assemble Jack. Clearly the ways this holiday can be celebrated are numerous, limited only to your imagination.

A word of caution though, should you decide to go chunkin’ pumpkin at passers-by, cars, homes and the like. Please employ some common sense.

Until next week, get your party on!

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