Here’s the scoop. A senate report recently revealed that the NSF has mismanaged about $3 billion – partly to fund the exercise ability of shrimp… on a treadmill. Apparently, NSF employees tested sick shrimps’ metabolism. And boy, who could’ve guessed what they found:

The sick shrimp “did not perform as well and did not recover as well from exercise as healthy shrimp,” according to the report. Price tag to come to this “my-9-year-old-could’ve-guessed-this” conclusion? $559,681.

But the story doesn’t end there. Among the other ways the NSF used our tax dollars:

• Jell-O wrestling in Antarctica
• A laundry-folding robot
• A YouTube rap video
• A robot hoedown and rodeo
• Virtual recreation of the 1964-65 New York World’s Fair

The senate report goes on to say that the NSF did fire the organizer of the Jell-O fiasco, and the staff got a big lecture, blah, blah, blah. According to some emails from people at the NSF McMurdo Station in Antarctica, Raytheon Polar Services paid for the wrestling matches, so who knows.

But here’s the scariest part. A spokesperson for the NSF had this to say:

“We believe that no other funding agency in the world comes close to NSF for giving taxpayers the best return on their investment.”

Tell that  to the shrimp on the treadmill. I’m not buying it.

-Liz

Related articles

• NSF gets down and dirty – with Jell-O! (rt.com)
• Taxpayer-funded Jello Wrestling? (nyletterpress.wordpress.com)
• Sen. Coburn Targets Shrimp on Treadmill, Other NSF Spending (blogs.wsj.com)
• Senate Report Finds Billions in Waste on Science Foundation Studies (foxnews.com)

Other families don’t have that luxury. Today, they’ll gather at a graveside to honor and remember a loved one – a father or grandfather, brother or son, husband or wife, mother or daughter.

I’d like to honor three such families today: the Hunts and Lieurances (families of Joey Hunt and Vic Lieurance, both KIA on 22 AUG 2005) and the Tuckers (family of Wes Tucker, KIA 13 OCT 2005).

For all of you readers who may have lost someone dear, our thoughts are with you as well, today, as we remember the ultimate price paid by so many brave Americans. We invite you to share a memory or leave a loved one’s name, below.

How much fun are these adjustable denim KitchenKuffs!!

There are several statements that take place in our house over and over again:

• Pick up your dirty clothes
• Chew with your mouth closed
• Throw away your trash

And my all-time least favorite:

• Can someone come push up my sleeves?!?! PLEASE!?!?

Well, Kate, bar the door, those days are gone. May I present:

KitchenKuffs!!!

That’s right, people. It’s time to say goodbye to soggy sleeves!

The brainchild of Barbara Doran, KitchenKuffs mean you’ll never have suds-soaked cuffs (or anything else, for that matter) on your long-sleeved tops EVER AGAIN! I was so impressed when I first saw this product that I contacted Barbara. She gave me a pair of regular and a pair of adjustable KitchenKuffs to review for you guys. I’ve had ample opportunity to try them, and as far as I’m concerned, they are a must-have in every kitchen, bath, basement and garage. I’ve used them while cooking dinner, washing dishes, painting a bookcase and potting flowers. They go on with total ease, and stay right where you put them.

Here’s a video from Barbara showing the myriad of ways she’s put her KitchenKuffs to good use:

To me, this is true American ingenuity – entrepreneurship at its finest! The product has even caught the eye of Martha Stewart’s Dreamers into Doers, where Barbara was recently featured as Doer of the Week.

Shown here are the denim KitchenKuffs (adjustable) and the pepper pattern regular KitchenKuffs

I highly recommend that you pick up a pair and give them a try. They’re machine-washable cotton, made here in the USA, very affordable, and come in a variety of patterns in the regular and adjustable KitchenKuffs. I think these will make great gifts for teachers, gardeners, moms and sisters, dads and brothers – anyone who needs to “Keep their sleeves up!” And at a time when many families are pinching pennies more than ever, KitchenKuffs are a unique and thoughtful gift they’ll use time after time, without having to break the bank!

I love ‘em, Barbara – I know our readers will, too.

-Liz

Visit www.kitchenkuffs.com for a patterns, pricing and sizing.

A recent study from Oklahoma State University Health Sciences Center has found that a plethora of bacteria, germs and even mold are happily hanging out and growing in school band instruments. The results have led to a call to not only clean and polish the outside, but to sanitize and sterilize the insides.

Now here’s where I get a bit thrown. The lead researcher, Dr. R. Tom Glass, was apparently shocked with the findings that came after two years of research:

“(I was) terribly floored. I had no earthly idea,” he told FOX23 in Tulsa.

Seriously, how are you floored over these findings? I can still picture the trumpet players dumping out their spit valves. Grossed me out then, grosses me out now. Maybe I didn’t think about a family of bacteria camped out inside, but I don’t think it would take a rocket scientist to tell us that when kids put their mouths to any sort of instrument, there will be germs involved. And perhaps they should be cleaned from time to time.

But did we really need a two-year study to figure this out?? I’m just sayin.

-liz

NOTE: As our beloved Kate is still taking care of a family emergency, I decided to re-run one of my favorite posts which features one of my go-to websites – the site I frequent whenever I need a good laugh. Oh sure. I could’ve given you a super simple recipe.  But Kate is the queen of our recipes as you all know. So in her honor this week, we’re gonna laugh about other people’s bakery botches.

My brother and his wife are expecting baby no. 2 in the next few weeks, (OK – update. Baby Franklin is 3 1/2 months old, now) so needless to say, baby showers are in the air, as it were.

In fact, my sister-in-law’s office gave her a shower just last week. As far as I know, there was only one problem with the shower: the cake said Welcome Baby, which is all well and good, but it was followed by the family’s last name – which was spelled wrong. Or, let’s just say, it had been spelled wrong at some point along the cake decorating way. Yep, you could see where at one point there’d been a  capital r, which had been scraped off and replaced with a capital w.

I  presume such errors would be a cake decorator’s nightmare. Like the cake falling or the icing turning grainy. As nightmarish as these mistakes may be, though, apparently cake flubs are more prevalent than any of us would like to imagine.

My proof? Enter a great website: Cake Wrecks! This site is loaded with evidence that there are as many ways to screw up a cake as there are colors in the rainbow.

Oh sure, sometimes words are mis-spelled or phrases make no sense whatsoever.

Or there’s this one – which is one of my favorites:

Congratulations and Happy… um…. WHAT?!?!

But that’s not the only faux pas in the bakery. Sometimes the design itself is enough to make one cringe. For all you University of Kentucky fans, you no doubt know UK’s mascot, the wildcat. He looks like this:

Unless, of course, the wrong person is put in charge of the design. In that case, your cake might look like this:

Can’t see the resemblance, can ya?

Would that it were the worst of the cake fails. (OK, I’ll admit it does rank up there with some of the worst…)

Among the other baking boo-boos are those designers who apparently take things way too seriously for their own good – following decorating directions to the tee – without pausing to think that some things are best left unsaid. I’ve told you people for quite some time that without incorporating a good dose of common sense, we’re in deep doo-doo. Now, I offer proof:

Let’s see. What have we just learned? Well, Peter has a nut allergy and Adam… well … poor Adam.

At this point, I know you’re chomping at the bit to check out more cake fiascos.

Since you’re heading over to Cake Wrecks anyway, might I suggest you start on this page.

Kinda makes you want to visit a bakery near you, doesn’t it? Just be sure to take a camera…

-Liz

A new 100-watt LED light bulb has recently been introduced to replace those incandescent bulbs we all know and love. For the low (low) price of $50, you, too, can own one of these bulbs. That’s right. Fifty dollars for a light bulb. I guess we really shouldn’t be surprised. If you’ve priced those dastardly curly-q bulbs, you already know they’re not cheap, either. Running roughly $4 and up for a single unit, many people could end up sitting in the dark if money’s tight. Let’s see. Shall we buy this whole chicken and feed the family or get a light bulb? Hmmm.

If you think this forced choice isn’t coming soon, think again. The 100-watt incandescent won’t be available as of this coming January. (Note to self – hit the dollar store and buy a few more packs of light bulbs before they’re all gone.) By 2014, they’ll be all but non-existent. Of course, there’s also the issue of the new bulbs not necessarily fitting in old lighting fixtures, but don’t worry. I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Just like most other things in the realm of all things government, the incandescent ban came before anyone thought things through. Many more of their bright ideas and we won’t be able to afford our own existence.

-Liz

Note: Kate is out for the next few days due to a family emergency. I’m sure she’d appreciate it if you’d be so kind to keep her in your thoughts, and I trust she’ll bring you up to date soon. That being said, this story originally ran prior to the November 2010 elections. For some states (like Kentucky) primary elections are being held today. And the importance of casting your vote can never be overstated

How many times have I brought you a story of the nanny-staters, who are h-e-double-hockey-sticks bent on telling you what’s best for you? Frankly, I’ve lost count. But a few past posts do come to mind: There was the candy tax and the soft drink seizure. Oh, don’t forget the ban on toys in McDonald’s Happy Meal.

Today I bring you the attack on potatoes. Some of you may think I’m kidding. I never am – at least about this stuff. Apparently, others aren’t kidding either.

The health arm of the National Academy of Sciences and the Institute of Medicine have not only recommended that the USDA stop those who receive WIC (Women, Infant and Children Program) from buying spuds with federal greenbacks, they’re also pushing to limit the potatoes served in school lunch programs that are backed by the USDA. The thinking is, by limiting or banning potatoes, people will be forced (key word) to eat healthier foods. Seems some study showed the need for more “leafy greens and other vegetables”. (See the full story here). What it all boils down to is you people are eating too many tater tots for someone else’s liking. But there’s more (of course there is).

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, the rising prince of I-want-to-rule-the-masses, is on a quest to ban sugary drinks from purchases made with food stamps. The ban would include tea, sports drinks, any beverage with sugar. He wants to end obesity, of course. (Why not send your kids out for a good game of kick the can or wiffle ball? That would be too easy, now, wouldn’t it?) Think it’ll stop there? Oh, no. This is just one in a line of several related moves designed to decide for people who are supposedly too stupid to decide what’s best for themselves. (May I remind you this is from the same city that’s already banned trans fats and the state that proposed a ban on salt.)

If that’s how you want to live, I feel really bad for you about now. As for me, I think I know a wise food decision when I see one. I’m betting you do, too. And I try to eat healthy for the most part. Do I enjoy a good cheeseburger? Only with fries. Do I love a thick, perfectly cooked rib-eye steak? Of course! With a steaming baked potato. Do I want some   stranger determining what I can or can not eat? Not on your life. I have a brain, am more than capable of thinking for myself, and plan to exercise that right to the fullest extent.

And that’s what it all boils down too, people. We are losing our rights, um… right and left.

Work with me on this one. If those elitist-I-know-what’s-best-for-you folks get their way, grocery receipts could soon be outlining not only what you bought, but how your choices rank, and how you need to improve those choices. Don’t believe me? Apparently, you haven’t seen the commercial with the mother and kids in the produce aisle. The kids get all excited as they pick the veggies. “I got a 94!” says one kid. “I got 100!” says another. Because every item in the store has been assigned a label as to its health value. So please don’t tell me you can’t believe the government is trying to control what you eat. First they nudge you. When that doesn’t work, they push you.

So what are your options? Get to the polls. When you stay home, you only serve to reinforce the belief that someone other than you is better qualified to make the decisions that concern you. Forget the false thinking that everyone else will be voting, so you don’t need to. Dismiss the stinkin’ thinkin’ that says your vote doesn’t count. It does.

We’re standing at a grave crossroads, here. These next few elections could  go down as the elections that restored America or destroyed America. Without getting further into the political arena (because this isn’t a political blog) this is it, people. Time to decide if you think you’re smart enough to make the decisions that need to be made for you and your family, or if you’d rather have some power-hungry elected official, some government entity, or a blasted czar determine what’s best for you. Time to say “we will be free”… or not.

In a letter to James Madison in 1787, Thomas Jefferson wrote: “The people are the only sure reliance for the preservation of our liberty.” I suspect he meant the liberty to eat a tater tot and drink a big fat Pepsi, too.

-Liz

When the letters and numbers are easy to decipher, I feel like this is  a pretty ingenious invention. But when I can’t tell a Z from a 7 and an L, I tend to get a tad cranky. In fact, these CAPTCHA boxes can frustrate me to the point that I decide that whatever I needed from the website is over-ridden by my impatience.

This weekend was a perfect example. I’d come across one of the most eye-crossing CAPTCHA boxes I’d ever seen. As if the letters and numbers alone weren’t bad enough, I didn’t have my glasses on, which created a small case of astigmatism on steroids. Thankfully, there’s usually a refresh button. Which I pushed about 11 times. But every time I’d make an attempt at cracking the code, I got an error message that questioned my very existence. So, I finally decided to get up out of my chair, walk into the other room and retrieve my glasses. Of course while I was in there, I got a little side-tracked, looked in the refrigerator and contemplated dinner, grabbed a glass of tea, checked the mail and flipped through a  new magazine. About 10 minutes later, I remembered why I’d gone into the other room in the first place. Which is what I knew would happen before I ever got out of my chair.

Colton came in about that time, so I enlisted his help, because my glasses just made the image clearer and brighter – not easier to read.

“That’s easy, Mom,” Colton said. “It’s 5b48MNPq9b”

“There’s no way,” I responded as I typed in his code.

And as luck would have it, the code was 5b48MNPq9b. At that point, though, I’d totally lost interest in the website and didn’t care if it offered free gold to its visitors. I didn’t like the site’s CAPTCHA box. So I decided to see what I could find out about the makers of these boxes.

While there seem to be a plethora of captcha box makers, I payed a little visit to the official CAPTCHA website. To be fair, they seem to design boxes that even I can figure out. What’s really cool, though, is the website’s other options for human verification checkers.

SQUIGL-PIX. is really more fun that I should be allowed to have. In order to verify your existence, you have to trace something with your mouse, which magically turns into a yellow pen. I should probably mention that I failed the first SQUIGL-PIX box, though .
ESP-PIX is almost as fun. The site visitor is shown a series of photos or images, then chooses a word that relates to all of the images from a drop-down box. So there may be hope for me and those silly boxes after all.

Nevertheless, I think this cartoon from Brad Colbow pretty much sums up my feelings about these CAPTCHA boxes:

-Liz

According to a story in the Associated Press,  the Journal of Animal Ethics recommends that phrases like “drunk as a skunk,” and  “eat like a pig” be dropped from our vocabulary. While we’re at it, apparently we need to quit using words like “beast” and critter,” too. Apparently, it’s the words we use that cause some to abuse animals. Isn’t that always the way it is…

Another story referred to the chiding of the military for using Geronimo as code name when the Navy SEAL team killed Osama bin Laden, who is swimming with the fishes now. Or should I say “swimming with “gilled companions”…

I’m going out on a limb, here, and say that I can almost guarantee that not a single SEAL in that elite fighting force was thinking, “wow, we really got back at the real Geronimo, didn’t we?” In fact, it’s probably safe to say that none of them gave it as much as a millisecond of thought.

But according to at least one woman, the military is making things “more toxic” with the use of terms like Blackhawk, Tomahawk and Apache. Have you seen a Blackhawk helicopter? It’s one bad-%ss chopper. Tomahawk missiles? I don’t want to be in their path. Why? Because to me, these terms are far from being derogatory. They’re terms of pride and strength. Not terms for which justice must be demanded.And should the Navy ever decide to commission the USS Crazy Liz, (which I really don’t see happening…) I will be all for it!

Sometimes I wonder if you could see through the skin of these people. Then again, after running across an unrelated article in Woman’s Day magazine, I fear the problem goes much deeper. Check out a few of these labels – and hold your head so it doesn’t spin…

• I posted this gem on Facebook right after Christmas. My daughter had gotten a new flat iron that came with this on the label: “Warning: Do not use while sleeping.” Apparently this warning is on hair dryers as well. And thank goodness. The last time I dried or flattened my hair in my sleep was… well… never.
• How about a nice warning on a pair of Super Man pajamas? Oh, say something like… “Warning: Wearing of the garment does not enable you to fly.” Do you think that applies to my Super Woman pj’s too? Sigh – to think I have to find out like this.
• Dremel has this warning label on  a rotary tool: “This product is not intended for use as a dental drill, in human or veterinary medical applications.” At last, dentists around the world can breathe easier as “do your own dental surgery” is squelched once and for all.
• This one may be my favorite though. Appearing on an iPod Shuffle, the label simply reads: “Warning Do not eat iPod Shuffle.” I guess just because its maker is Apple, it’s… well… really not an… apple.

Enough said. Check out the rest of the warning labels here.

-Liz

This is a super quick, three-ingredient salad (sans any seasonings you’d like to use). It’s light, tasty, crunchy, and I’d like to think, good for you. Great as a side dish, afternoon snack, or even a light lunch.

Here’s what you’ll need:

• Cauliflower florets (or a head of cauliflower)
• Broccoli florets (or a head of broccoli)
• Light mayonnaise (or some bottled light ranch dressing)
• Salt and pepper (and any other seasonings you like) to taste

Here’s how to make it:

Wash veggies and shake off excess moisture. Using a food processor or veggie chopper, (or even a knife for that matter), chop the veggies into very small pieces. (I’m not sure why this salad tastes better with small bits of broccoli and cauliflower, I just know that it does. Trust me.) Mix in a small bit of mayo or ranch dressing and toss well, adding the dressing of choice a little bit at a time until veggies are well coated, but not drenched Season with whatever you like, taste-testing along the way.

How easy (and tasty!) is that? I promise you won’t be disappointed! If you’re feeling really inventive and want to kick this one up a notch, here are a few add-in ideas:

• cucumber
• radish
• celery
• onion
• shredded cheese
• bacon bits
• sweet bell peppers

While you’re at it, you may want to come up with your own add-ins. If so, let us know! Meanwhile, Happy Eating!

-Liz