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Coffee Break with Liz and Kate » Headline, Liz's Rants » Warts: Nothing a shotgun can’t cure – Liz’s rant

Warts: Nothing a shotgun can’t cure – Liz’s rant

I suppose it’s an age-old question: What do you do when a wart causes so much discomfort that you just can’t take it anymore? Bury a rag? Buy some Wart-B-Gone medicine? Have the doctor freeze it off? Do incantations?

How about this novel approach? Try a shotgun. That’s right. Apparently Shaun Murphy of England recently took that route, after, in his mind, all other avenues that point toward relief had been blocked.

According to  a story that appeared in The Telegraph, Murphy found the shotgun in a hedge, and, one would assume, figured, “Hey, I’ll just blast off this wart!”

So he did what any self-inflicting, wart-hating, crazy person would do. He liquored up, took aim and fired. Try to contain your shock as I tell you the gun shot blew off most of his finger. I mean, who could’ve guessed that? Right?

Well, the wart-killer didn’t guess it. In fact, he blamed the fact that he’d taken off more than just the wart on the gun’s recoil. (Of course he did.)

“I didn’t expect to lose my finger as well when I shot it, but the gun recoiled and that was it,’ he said. “The wart was gone and so was most of my finger. There was nothing left of it, so no chance of re-attaching it.”

Oddly enough, Wart Man’s troubles didn’t end there. Illegal possession of a firearm could have landed him 15 years in the slammer. But after pleading guilty to theft of the shotgun by finding, and possessing a firearm without a valid certificate, he got off with a suspended prison term, and was ordered to complete 100 hours of unpaid community service.

Anyway, after the court hearing, the man’s lawyer told The Telegraph that Murphy had been “a victim of his own stupidity when domestic pressures got to him.”

Indeed…

-Liz

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