For reasons that are unimportant, I was recently searching for a name game. I had no idea where it originated – only that I’d received the game in an email years ago, and a group of us had great laughs using our new assumed names. I was Tootsie Rhinonose. (Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?)

After a bit of searching, I discovered this name game has its roots in “Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants,” by Dav Pilkey. Why didn’t I see this one coming?

Colton is a huge fan of the Captain Underpants series, but as luck would have it, this is the one book we don’t own (yet).

Nevertheless,  in the “Perilous Plot,” Evil Professor Pippy P. Poopypants forces everyone to assume new names, using the Name Change-O-Chart 2000. To what end, I’ve no idea. Anyway, here’s the game:

Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy

Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half
of your new last name:

a = dippin
b = feather
c = giggle
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle

Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half
of your new last name:

a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

I stumbled on this site, too. But it works a bit differently. I put in my first name, first letter of last name and last letter of last name. Next thing I knew, I’d gotten a different name: Lumpy Chickennose. Really? The upside of this is if you don’t like your assigned name using the above game, try out the other name generator and pick between the more flattering of the two names.

I shared the game with Colton, who was none-too-thrilled with his new name: Boobie Rhinonose. Something tells me he’s not gonna like Buttercup Chickennose any better.

I was having so much fun with the game that I decided to figure out the new names for a few of our Coffee Break readers as well. You’ll be happy to know our audience includes Funky Gizzardbutt, Dorfus Pottydoodle, Snooty Snicklehump and Snickle Dippinfanny. Lovely.

With that in mind, I trust you’ve enjoyed this Coffee Break with Tootsie Rhinonose and Sloopy Gigglehead

-Liz