Coffee Break with Liz and Kate » Entries tagged with "humor"
Kate needs an intervention – Liz’s rant
Hi. My name is Liz. And Kate is a reality show junkie. I guess it shouldn’t come as a surprise. I’ve heard reality show rumblings from Kate before. In fact, she’s followed a few of these shows in the past – right here on this website. I just didn’t realize how many shows Kate was watching. And to think I feel guilty for watching American Idol every week. To think that I spent almost sleepless nights wondering what the rest of the world would say, should they discover that, every Wednesday and Thursday at 8 p.m. sharp, I’m glued to the TV, listening to the voices of angels (well, sometimes) fill my living room with music.. All to find out that my dear bff Kate is not only watching American Idol, she’s watching … Read entire article »
Filed under: Headline, Liz's Rants
Great recipe! Here’s how I made it – Liz’s rant
I realize this is probably quite petty, but as I’ve become a regular recipe hunter, there’s something that absolutely irks me to no end. To what do I refer? Five star recipes with comments that totally alter the recipe from its original state. How can you rave over a recipe that you’ve drastically changed? More important – why do you insist on throwing me off? You leave me wondering who to trust: the original recipe submitter or the commenting critics? This has become such a thorn in my side that I thought I’d peruse my recipe box on a certain recipe site in search for at least one recipe that commenters hadn’t drastically changed. Just one. Here’s what I found: Comments on a 7-layer salad: This is an excellent recipe. Because the dressing is … Read entire article »
Filed under: Headline, Let's Eat, Liz's Rants
Liz’s rant: Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
You guys know how I love quirky things – like botched headlines and stupid laws that make us laugh out loud. So I thought I’d share some of these signs that my dad recently emailed to me. I got quite a hoot out of them, and I suspect you will too! Enjoy! Our first sign leads one to wonder just what kind of laundromat these people are running: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT Here’s a real head-spinner, found in a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS I’m glad I don’t work in this office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN For that matter, I’m glad I don’t work in this office either: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD … Read entire article »
Filed under: Headline, Liz's Rants
Kate’s Escapades – ‘You get what you get, and you don’t make a fit’
As you regular readers know, Mondays and Wednesdays are Liz’s rant days, and here it is Wednesday and there is nary a rant in sight. That’s because Miz Liz in up to her eyeballs in boxes, packing up all of her worldly possessions in anticipation of a big move into a new house this weekend. A house with air conditioning (HOORAY!) which I might add, would have been really nice to have when I was visiting her last summer and the heat and humidity were sucking the life out of me? Just sayin’. Anyway, I’ve got your back, Liz. Take as long as you need, as long as that ‘as long as you need’ doesn’t spill into next week, in which case I would say, “Get your butt back to Coffee … Read entire article »
Filed under: Headline, Kate's Escapades
Just between Liz and Kate – Ice, Ice Baby
Kate, I’m falling apart. My counter top ice maker is not making those cute little ice pellets. You know how we count on these ice-makers. They are perhaps the best technological advance in the history of the world!!! And I’m in four-alarm panic! No ice for the Diet Coke! No ice for the summer margaritas. No ice for the shrimp cocktails… NO ICE!! We’re at Defcon 4.5, here, Kate. Calm down, Liz, you’re getting a little overly dramatic here. I’m sure that by the time you’re ready for summer margaritas, your ice maker will once again be churning out those precious pellets of deliciousness. Shrimp cocktails? You eat shrimp cocktails? Even after “The Incident”? You know, that time when I went on vacation with your family when we were kids … Read entire article »
Filed under: Headline, Kate's Escapades, Liz's Rants
Kate’s Escapades – Snow Day
This is my facebook status update from 11:27pm on Dec 20, 2010 (the eve of the last day of school before Christmas Break). “10 1/2 inches (according to my son’s ruler) and it’s still coming down. Enough already. I’m sort of afraid to go to sleep for fear of what I’ll wake up to tomorrow morning. (KY friends…this much snow and we still won’t get a snow day out of it. Not one single cotton pickin’ snow day in the 11 winters we’ve lived here.)” Allow me to sidetrack for a bit here. Ahhhh…my Kentucky friends and their snow days. You see, I spent most of my school years in Kentucky, where a kid can expect many a snow day every year. One or two inches equals a snow day for sure. … Read entire article »
Filed under: Headline, Kate's Escapades, Let's Celebrate
Liz’s rant: 15 pounds of carrots
That’s how it started. With 15 pounds of organic carrots, water bath canning equipment, cans, lids, rings and a book: Canning for Dummies. Except that Niki hadn’t cracked the book before arriving at my house.And I’d never canned carrots. (Insert large red flag, flapping in the breeze…) On the surface, the idea was a sheer stroke of genius. We’d get together before Christmas and can some very special homemade concoction, tying the jars with pretty ribbons and attaching homemade labels, wishing those lucky enough to receive such an inventive gift the merrriest of Christmases and most prosperous of new years. Apparently, that’s the magic of carrots. Unless they can’t be canned in a water bath because they’re low in acid. That’s right. If you’re gonna can carrots, you need a pressure canner. … Read entire article »
Filed under: Headline, Liz's Rants
Liz’s rant: The play on words
Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve about had it with someone, somewhere, who’s decided that classic pronunciations of words should be changed – and that words once known as nouns should now be known as verbs. For example: Let’s take the country of Chile. As far as I’m concerned, Chile is pronounced just like that warm winter stew we all know and love – you know: chilly. But apparently the earthquake shook up things enough that all of a sudden it’s become known as Chil-ay. Rhymes with Oil of Olay. And it drives me crazy. Tied for getting on my nerves the most is another phenomena: nouns that become verbs – or verbs that are used for things that they shouldn’t be. Prime example: I hate it when someone refers to “growing … Read entire article »
Filed under: Headline, Liz's Rants
Get your party on: 12/5-12/11
Let’s get things started with a real splash this week! On Dec. 5, we celebrate Bathtub Party Day, so grab your rubber duckie and some bubbles and hop in the tub. I can see where this one could get a little out of hand, simply because a party typically involves more than one person. So if I were you, I’d proceed with a bit of caution, keeping in mind the naughty and nice lists, as we discussed last week. Unfortunately, we immediately move into more of a trickle zone. What we have here after Dec. 5 is a serious lack of luster where all things holiday are concerned. I just don’t get it. No Hoodie Hoo Day, no Wear Different Colored Socks Day, or even a She’s Funny … Read entire article »
Filed under: Headline, Let's Celebrate
Liz’s rant: You’ll shoot your eye out!
Can you guess how our family kicked off the Christmas season? If you think it involved A Christmas Story, you’d be right! Except that we didn’t watch the movie. On Sunday afternoon, Colton and I, along with Mom, Dad, my brothers, sister-in-law and nephew, hit the road and headed to Actors Theatre in Louisville for the stage version of the story I consider a staple of the season – a classic Christmas story (ergo the name?) that’s a must-watch at least a dozen times between Turkey Day and Christmas. We were convinced that it would be a great afternoon, leaving us with plenty of Christmas spirit and even more to talk about. It didn’t hurt that our tickets were on the first, second and third rows, either. Most of us were … Read entire article »
Filed under: Headline, Liz's Rants
Get your party on: 11/21-11/27
Well, here we are. A few short days until Thanksgiving – and a bang-up list of holidays to explore (give me my dreams, ok?). Actually, things really don’t get going until Nov. 24 with Celebrate Your Unique Talents Day. Oh sure. I can celebrate my multiple talents all day long (and you could, too). But the trick on this day is to celebrate talents unique to each of us. Hmm. Maybe we could change this one to FIND Your Unique Talent Day. But no one asked me. Tie One On Day lands on Nov. 24, so if you’re planning on doing some Turkey Day Eve cooking, you may want to tie one on after your work in the kitchen is done. Flossing Day, Buy Nothing Day, Sinkie Day and Your Welcomegiving Day are … Read entire article »
Filed under: Headline, Let's Celebrate
Liz’s rant: Revisionist Pigs (and the big bad wolf)
Well, well, well. Just when you think the coast is clear, out comes a new version of the Three Little Pigs. Is nothing sacred? You remember the original story, I bet. Three pigs, three houses and a wolf. The wolf eats the pigs who didn’t have the wherewithall to built a decent house. Lesson learned? Don’t take shortcuts, don’t half-way do something, etc, etc, etc. At least that’s what I took away. Seriously, maybe that first little pig had it coming to him. Who builds a house out of straw? And don’t tell me he couldn’t find any other suitable material. One of the other pigs (the smarter one) used bricks for crying out loud. But apparently, the old version and the lessons it bestowed are simply not acceptable. Anyway, in the “revised” … Read entire article »
Filed under: Headline, Liz's Rants
Get your party on: 11/14-11/20
Greetings, partiers. Let’s jump right into the thick of it where all-things-holiday are concerned. Nov. 14 is Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day. So please. Lighten up a bit, celebrate these three rather lame holidays, and remember that a bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two-tired… ugh… Moving right along… Nov. 15 is I Love To Write Day. This is certainly one I can identify with, since I write for a living. As as all writers know, just because we do what we love and love what we do, there are days when the words just don’t flow. I think that’s easy enough to explain – writer’s block, lack of inspiration, or a cluttered mind stand in the way of all writers at one time or another. So … Read entire article »
Filed under: Headline, Let's Celebrate
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