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Coffee Break with Liz and Kate » Headline, » read here

liz and kate cup beige

Here’s the thing. My recent trip to a local super mart store seemed to culminate without instance. Until I saw my receipt.

Near the bottom of the print-out, a section marked “Healthy Living” or something to that end, caught my eyes, informing me that I’d made $2.34 worth of healthy purchases. The receipt went on to say that this intrusion would help me with identifying healthy deductions for other needs.


At first, I thought perhaps I’d purchased an item that could be considered tax-deductible or whatever where insurance was concerned. Since I’d purchased nothing that qualified off hand, I perused my receipt.

I began with the real groceries – blackberries, strawberries, pineapple (my new favorite fruits to have on hand), some sliced cheese, rye bread, corned beef, and sauerkraut (guess what I was having for dinner…) Ironically, nothing in the list was under that $2.34 mark.

Nor were the Hostess DingDongs that I gave in on near the end of the shopping. Everyone needs a little snack on the way home. Tell me you haven’t done the same, and I’ll tell you you haven’t truly lived.

I moved on to the other purchases. Two new toothbrushes, bath bubbles for the little one  (again, well over the amount listed on the receipt), and a package of bandages for a cut finger that I’d like to point out happened in the store and I wasn’t compelled to sue over it.

Of all things, the bandages fit the healthy purchase qualifications. Which lead me to wonder exactly how the store’s’ attention to my healthy purchase could possibly help me.

It reminded me of a newscast about Wal-Mart’s announcement that they would be marking certain products with green stickers to promote (wait for it…) environmentally friendly purchases.

And the light came on. I remembered a conversation with my parents, when Mom had gotten a coupon for a brand-name bacon and I’d gotten a lesser coupon for a generic brand.

“Let there be no doubt that they know exactly what we buy,” I’d said. “Otherwise, why would you get a free coupon for the good stuff, while I get a cents-off coupon for the generic?”

I fast-forwarded to the future (a year? a decade? next week? you tell me…) when, as we check out each item, a megaphone reports our purchases to all other shoppers for a thumbs up or thumbs down. I imagined scanning those DingDongs as the ear-piercing sirens go off.

“Red Alert! Red Alert! Shopper in check-out lane 10 has just purchased DingDongs!”

I can see the receipt print out, too.

“You have three healthy items, seven frivolous items, some beef (baaaaaad), and you have spent your yearly allotment on items we’ve decided you don’t need. Check your mail for the list of items you may purchase between now and the end of the year and look for next week’s sale on wheat germ!”

At which point, I will be forced to grow my own food, bake my own DingDongs and work on a principle of sheer spite.

Remember you’ve been warned… I’m just saying…
liz pic-Liz

Enjoy your Coffee Break!

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