Murray came into the world on Groundhog Day, 2010 and became an official member of the family just more than a week ago. Perhaps I should explain. Murray is an English bulldog.
My first meeting with Murray left me unsatisfied. I’d gone to my brother’s shop to meet him and found him sprawled out on the floor, fast asleep (the dog… not my brother).
Not to be deterred, I proceeded to join him and the floor, where I relentlessly pestered him for at least 30 minutes. Think of it much like a trip to see a new baby. You really don’t care if the new mom will be left trying to get the baby back to sleep. You’ll be long gone. All you care about is waking up that cute little baby!
Except that it didn’t work. He opened his eyes a few times and shut them just as quickly. Then he returned to snoring. I must admit, he was so cute when he was asleep.
Needless to say, I was thrilled when Michael called a couple of days ago to see if I could go over to his house and entertain the dog. Imagine my delight, when on opening his crate, he actually woke up.
mHe waddled his little butterball body to the back door, then down the steps into the backyard.
Maybe it was the feel of the green grass under his paws. Maybe it was the sun. Maybe it was all the pollen in the air. Regardless, the cute little butterball formerly known as Murray morphed into Kujo, right before my very eyes.
My sandals and toes succumbed to the first attack as the 1/8-inch razor sharp teeth chomped down on the strap’s wooden beads – occasionally missing only to bite my toes.
In the midst of my walking-on-hot-coals dance, I was able to reach one of his toys, which diverted him away from my feet for all of two seconds. Because he discovered my pant leg, and “Jaws” now had my jeans in a chokehold.
“No bite!” I told him, wondering how something so small had a jaw grip so strong.
Once I had my pant leg back, I hurried over to his food dish, where, thankfully, he took a break from his bully-ing long enough to eat.
I figured this was my chance. I’d break away long enough to gather as many toys as I could and be ready when play commenced.
Which would’ve worked fine, had Murray not decided to employ the sneak attack.
The next few seconds were a blur as he pushed the orange ball under my feet, leaving me with two options: fall flat on my face, while doing everything possible to keep from landing on the dog or do a quick tuck and perform an air tumble over him.
I have a feeling all of you can figure out what happened next. There was no tuck and tumble.
But puppies sure are cute when they’re asleep.