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Coffee Break with Liz and Kate » Headline, Liz's Rants » Liz’s rant: Headliners

Liz’s rant: Headliners

For purposes of yucks and grins and perhaps a belly laugh or two, I thought we’d explore some of the funniest headlines to ever grace the world of newspapers. I doubt I’ll be able to resist adding a comment or two, as the mood hits me.

So let’s jump right in with this budgetary sweep of genuis:

County to spend $250,000 to advertise lack of funds

And to think they’re in charge of your county. Might I suggest someone confiscate their checkbook…

Volunteers to search for old Civil War airplanes

Let’s see… The Civil War was fought in the 1860s, right? And the Wright brothers first flew when?!?!

Army vehicle disappears

OK, perhaps I should explain. It had been painted with camouflage…

Caskets found as workers demolish mausoleum

Who could’ve seen that coming?

Waterford boy, 8, saves sister’s life

Granted, that one doesn’t sound so odd, does it? But here’s the sub-head – a direct quote from the boy: “I wouldn’t do it again. She’s been a  pain this week.”

Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons

Imagine the shock on the faces of the agents – NOT! Here’s another one that makes you wonder if the paper actually employs editors. I’m gonna go with no…

One-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers

And then there’s this no-brainer:

Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after the age of 25

Or this most perfect screw up, that almost makes ya wonder if it was planned:

Missippi’s literacy program shows improvement

And with that spelling of the state’s name, the literacy rate took an immediate nose-dive…

Here are a few more typographical errors that have occurred within news copy, the first from a published school lunch menu:

Friday – Honey mustard chicken diapers with dipping sauce, favorite taters, mixed fruit cup, cheddar guppies, milk

This from a sports page:

Bismarck scored three unanswered girls in the third period…

Here are a few more from Alpha Dictionary

  • 5th-Graders Get to Grill Lions
  • Autos killing 110 a Day; Let’s Resolve to do Better
  • Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
  • Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
  • Eye Drops Off Shelf
  • If Strike isn’t Settled Quickly it May Last a While
  • Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
  • Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
  • Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
  • Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
  • Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
  • War Dims Hope for Peace
  • William Kelly was Fed Secretary
  • Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
  • Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
  • Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
  • Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder
  • Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe out Literacy
  • NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach

If these leave you wanting more, a quick Google search will help you find more gaffes from a variety of websites. Meanwhile, I’ve saved my own for last. No, I didn’t write it, nor was I the copy editor on this one (Thank you, God!!). But the following headline fell through the cracks at a Florida paper I wrote for. Unfortunately for us all, it was our first edition of this newspaper for the city in question, and this headline ran above the fold as the main headline that day:

City Council plans pubic meeting

I suspect that to this day, the publisher has not gotten over that little gem…

-Liz

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