Coffee Break with Liz and Kate

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Preparations for dinner last week had started innocently enough. I’d made the decision to fix salmon patties. Which brings me to my first segue. Do people “fix” dinner or “make” dinner. It would seem that fixing dinner would imply something was broken. Ergo my latest kitchen rule: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Back to the salmon patties. This is actually one of my favorite  – and fairly painful – things to fix. At least it was. My standard operating procedure includes mixing all the ingredients (including seasoned bread crumbs) about an hour before I’m ready to saute them. Makes the chore of forming those little patties much easier.

Such was my SOP last week. About six p.m., I readied the pan, warmed up the olive oil and poured the extra bread crumbs onto a plate to coat the patties. And a moth flew out of the crumbs.

As I relay this story, I’m starting to throw up in my mouth again. Granted, my first thought was the whole little ordeal had been a fluke. Until I looked into the can and saw another one on the paper container’s side. So I poured more of the crumbs out. Only to discover more moth-like creatures.

I promptly tossed the plate, crumbs and half-full container into the trash and went to Plan B. I had another can of bread crumbs – I’d just have to season them up a bit. Or so I thought until discovering that the problem in the first can was replicated in the second can. It was worse than that, though, as I realized that the salmon patties already had bread crumbs in them. Oh sure. The little moth critters were probably mixed in fairly well – heck, maybe even half frozen and crunchy at that point – and the world might never have been the wiser. Oddly enough, it was that reality that really set me off.

How easy would it be for anyone to conveniently “ignore” this issue at a restaurant? What if I hadn’t noticed it until after we’d eaten? Yes, the scenarios could go on and on. Cooking can be very dangerous to your health. Especially when one realizes they no longer have an appetite. See the downward spiral? You’d starve to death.

I guess it goes without saying that the uncooked salmon patties, the bread crumbs and every other source of boxed grains in the kitchen followed dinner straight into the trashcan. There was no need for further inspection. I’d seen all I needed to see.

So in keeping with my latest kitchen rule, I didn’t fix dinner. I ordered it. Unfortunately, I was no longer hungry…

-Liz

Enjoy your Coffee Break!

Want to submit your own story to be considered for the Guest Headline post to run on Fridays????  Just let us know at lizandkate@live.com.

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