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Coffee Break with Liz and Kate » Headline,, » more

Let me begin by saying I feel sick. Not “sick” sick, just sick. Like I just ate too much chocolate – as in waaaaay too much chocolate. But sometimes I feel it is my duty to take one for the team – especially where guilty pleasures are concerned.

You see, Kate and I just returned from Old Kentucky Chocolates, where we discovered the inside scoop on how a bean that doesn’t even resemble the taste of chocolate is transformed into melt-in-your-mouth sweetness, as if by magic.

While we got the 4-1-1 on the process, I stared at an oversized, 75-pound chocolate bunny (which wasn’t even solid chocolate, causing me to question how much it would have weighed if it was solid) and did what any normal chocolate factory tourist would do: I wondered how soon the samples were coming.

See that big vat of milk chocolate?

It takes 4 or 5 of these solid chocolate bars to fill the vat. Notice the size of the chocolate in comparison to the size of the microwave.

Then there’s also the vat of creamy white chocolate…

Anywho, I think Kate only stuck her finger in there once. You guys would’ve been proud. (Although she did stay back from the rest of the tour because she was still “taking pictures.” Uh, huh…)

We watched as a team of Brazilian nuts traveled down the conveyor belt and through a waterfall of chocolate for their second coating. Apparently this is fondly known as the “Chocolate Car Wash”.

Which is when my prayers were answered.

We ate chocolate. And then we ate more chocolate. (And they do make splendid chocolates…)

It’s hard to say what caused me to snatch two coconut chocolates off the conveyor belt.

Maybe it was the bourbon chocolate cherry. Or maybe it was the bourbon chocolate truffle talking. After all, they’d just come off the assembly line, and were loaded with, um, bourbon (100 proof, thank you very much).

Or maybe it was the fact that shortly after the tour began, my thoughts turned to I Love Lucy, and the famous episode where Lucy and Ethel get a job at the chocolate factory:

Even though the ladies working on the assembly line didn’t resemble Lucy and Ethel in the least (they weren’t even wearing those big, floppy white hats, for crying out loud), it was difficult to not take gleeful pleasure in sneaking two pieces of candy right off the line. (Yes, I gave one to Kate.)

And then we ate more chocolate. (Did I mention the peanut butter cups?)

As the tour came to a close, Kate and I returned to the store front, where we did what any self-respecting chocolate factory tourists are expected to do.

We ate more chocolate.

First came the Derby mints – an all-time favorite of mine – followed by another bourbon truffle. Up next was a chocolate-covered grape.

That’s right. We ate more chocolate.

At this point, it became clear that I’d need to find a way to counter all that sweetness. But of course the perfect next step presented itself as if it were serendipity, and I grabbed a chocolate covered potato chip with sea salt.

About 20 minutes later, we finalized all our purchases (it’s a big store, people). The chocolate sickness was beginning to set in as I finished paying for the chocolate covered pretzels, chocolate suckers and chocolate mint truffles. So I grabbed another chocolate-covered grape, recalling my mother’s advice that fruit is good for you.

It’s hard to say if I was waddling to the car or if it just felt like I was waddling. And I swore that I wouldn’t need another piece of chocolate until at least Halloween.

Or maybe until their next scheduled tour – which just happens to be tomorrow morning…

If you’d like to order some fine chocolates for yourself or a gift, contact Old Kentucky Chocolates and tell them Liz and Kate sent you. You won’t be disappointed!


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