The Dogs Ate My Couch
Okay, so maybe that is a slight exaggeration. They didn’t exactly eat the whole couch, but they might as well have. There is now a dinner plate-sized hole in the back cushion of my living room couch. When they decided to go on the prowl for a midnight snack last night , they couldn’t have chosen to munch on my old, black velvet couch in the basement…nope, they decided, instead, to snack on my nice, new tan leather couch which sits prominently in my living room. In fact, it’s the first thing you see when you come into my house. Geez.
Maybe now is a good time to give you some back story here. I have two big dogs. I never intended on having two big dogs. That sort of thing just sneaks up on you somehow. When we had to put our little dog, Cinnamon, to sleep last year, I decided it was a good time to make our home a dog-free zone for a while. Then my daughter, Hannah, got a dog from the pound as a gift to give to her boyfriend. Turns out, the boyfriends parents were also attempting to make their house a dog free zone, and since I am easily the biggest push over around, well, his dog came to live with us. It was okay though, she was a well behaved, good dog. Until she got pregnant and had 8 (yes – EIGHT! puppies) We decided to keep one of them because they were just so darn cute. When you already have dog, what’s one more, right? (Wow! Maybe it’s that kind of thinking that caused me to end up with 7 kids.) Here’s the thing, when you have 9 people in your family, the chances of coming to a unanimous decision on anything is nearly impossible. We were torn between two of the puppies, and soon my family fell in love with both of them. And this is how I came to have two big dogs (and their mother) living in my dog-free zone. Two dogs, mind you, that have eaten more than their fair share of flip flops and forgotten Happy Meal toys.
So…back to the story…I woke up this morning, just like every other morning, to make my husband a lunch to take to work. I went into the kitchen and the dogs were cowering under the table – never a good sign. I went to investigate and when I got to the living room, I saw a sight which struck terror into my heart. The floor was covered in white fluff, so much white fluff that it looked like snow covering the floor, all around the couch. I knew this was going to be bad. And there it was, a huge gaping hole in my leather couch.
Let me just tell you at this point in the story, my husband is not exactly a dog lover. He is barely a dog-putter-upper-wither. You should know this, as I will use this in my defense later in this story.
I knew that if I wanted the dogs to live through the day, I was going to have to take quick action. I scooped up the fluff, stuffed it back into the hole in the couch, grabbed a blanket and threw it over the back of the couch, hoping my husband wouldn’t notice as he passed by the living room on his way out the door to work. I prefer not to think of this as lying, but as more of an act of mercy…an attempt to keep the dogs alive, if you will.
Well, I have now spent a good portion of the day trying to repair the couch, before you-know-who gets home from work. I cut a piece of leather out of the bottom of one of the seat cushions, and have sewn it into the hole. It looks okay really, it you turn off the lights and close the curtains. Perhaps tonight would be a good night to go out to dinner and a late movie, preferably one that gets out after dark. Geez.