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Coffee Break with Liz and Kate » Headline, http://www.muebles.com/ » تجارة العملات في سلطنة عمان زاويتي التعليمية

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liz and kate cup asterisk patternWhy is it that whenever you get a group of women together, specifically mothers,  somehow the conversation will inevitably, and almost without fail, turn to the topic of childbirth?  Maybe it’s because we know that our only truly sympathetic and understanding audience on the topic is other women who have gone through the same thing. Try as we might, and heaven knows we have tried, mere words cannot begin to describe to a man the actual physical experience of childbirth.  They have no frame of reference with which to associate the experience, unless of course they have carried around a watermelon inside their stomach for 9 months and then tried to pop it out an opening…well, never mind..you get the point.

We mothers need someone who has been through it.  It’s the female version of war stories…you know, full of pain, suffering and agony.  What an image, a group of ladies gabbing away over their salads, telling their childbirth stories, all feeding off each other in a round of one-upmanship, if you will.  Sure once in a while you might run into the occasional mother who will tell you all about how amazing and spiritual and wonderful the birthing experience was, but let me tell you, those stories are few and far between.

Whenever I find myself in these childbirth story swapping situations, I just sit back patiently, oohing and ahhing along with the rest of the ladies, adding supportive comments, nodding and smiling, biding my time,  for I know how this process goes.  The stories have to build on each other, each one topping the next, until we get the the grand finale conversation ending story. I wait patiently because I know that my moment is coming, as I have yet to ever be topped in this story telling ritual.

Have I lost all the male readers yet? If you’ve made it this far and are still with me guys, feel free to stay and listen in.  Don’t give up now, I promise not to gross you out or go into graphic detail.

I could tell you about my last baby, affectionately named “Chubs” by his pediatrician and nurses at the hospital.  He weighed in at a whopping 11 lbs. 4 ozs. and was NOT cesarean. Yep, you read that right…NOT cesarean. But perhaps I’ll keep that one for another day and tell you a different childbirth story instead.

Many years ago I was a young mother with three small children, all girls.  The oldest was 4, the middle was 2 and the baby was 5 months old.  I was a busy woman for sure, just trying to make it through the hectic days of raising small children.  It was at this point that I surprisingly found myself with child again. (Yes, I do know how this happens.) This would put the youngest one and the new baby at about 14 months apart, a daunting thought indeed.

A few months after finding out I was pregnant,  I went for a routine sonogram to check on the baby.  I went in alone as my husband and three kids stayed in the lobby to wait the boy or girl results. Imagine their surprise when I came out to tell them the news…one of each…a boy AND a girl!  Twins!  Count them up readers – that makes FIVE kids, with the oldest turning 5 a mere 2 weeks before the twins’ arrival.

But that’s not all folks, we haven’t gotten  to the childbirth story show stopper, yet.  As I entered into the last trimester of pregnancy, my stomach became HUGE.  We’re not talking normal pregnant lady belly huge, we’re talking so big people stopped and stared everywhere I went.  I am 5’2″ and there was not a lot of height to fit these babies into and they just grew OUT.  We kept careful check on the babies sizes to make sure I didn’t have them before they were big enough, and the last sonogram 2 weeks before the due date put their weights at about 5 pounds each, a respectable birth weight for twins.

Both babies heads were down, so we elected to have a vaginal birth (sorry guys.I had to say it.)   No problem, baby # 1 was born just as planned, however baby # 2 decided not to cooperate.  As soon as the first baby was born, the second baby was lovin’ all that extra room and decided to do a flip to a heads- up position.  It’s at this point that I will spare you the gruesome and gory details of how we tried to get that baby’s head down again. (If I was eating salads with the ladies, they would get the details though, for sure.)  Suffice it to say, 31 looooooooong minutes later, baby # 2 was born by cesarean section.  Yep one of each to recover from…YIPPEE!

But wait, that’s not all…the babies weighed in at 8 1/2 lbs. and 7 1/2 lbs and 21 ” each.  Here, let me do the math for you.  That equals 16 pounds and 42 inches of baby!  So there you have it – the baby story grand finale topper.

Unless of course you count this…

Have you hear about the 19 lb. baby born in Indonesia last week? NINETEEN POUNDS! Watch this clip!

kate picEnjoy your Coffee Break!

~Kate

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