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kars for kidsLet me begin by telling you a bit about my personality. I am the kind of person who always eats two same colored M&Ms at a time. I have my closet coordinated not only by color, but also by degree of warmth. I am a firm believer that everything should have a place. Suffice it to say, I am a very particular person.

Of course, such a meticulous temperament is accompanied by several bizarre pet peeves. Almost every time I tell someone about one of my pet peeves, they reply, “I never noticed.” But I always notice and cringe every time.

The worst of my multitude of pet peeves is exaggerating numbers. For example, how many times have you heard someone say, “On a scale from 1 to 10, it’s an 11!” Excuse me, but doesn’t the scale YOU just created only go to 10? There is no 11. In the world of your scale, 11 does not exist!

Which brings me to my next pet peeve: exaggerating percentages. In the tradition of a motivational speaker, we are always asked to “Give 110%.” Do you see the problem here? If I have 10 apples, I can only give you 10 apples, or 100% of my apples. I can only give what I have. Where is this other 10 percent coming from?

Deep breath. Here comes another one.

Why do people feel the need to misspell words on purpose to be cute? It absolutely drives me crazy when I see a sign shouting “Kars 4 Kids.” I can’t understand the need to switch the letter “c” for the letter “k” to make the two words match. Or the infamous “z” replacing an “s.”  Or the two together “Karz 4 Kidz.” I just shuddered in horror.

While on the subject of misspelling on purpose, I’d like to point out the atrocity of the number inside the word. It seems like it is all over the place. I blame texting for this. As soon as people discovered that words would be shortened by replacing letters with numbers, an epidemic was born. For example, the once-popular song “Sk8er Boi,” by Avril Lavigne. I understand the need to conserve space in a text or IM, but in a song title? Or the dance group contestants on this season of America’s Got Talent, U4RIA. Translation: Euphoria. If I were a cartoon, there would be smoke coming out of my ears right now.

Naturally, this list could go on forever, but I’ll share just one more. I was watching TV and there was a commercial for some debt consolidation company in which a man said, “I was literally drowning in a sea of debt.” Hmm. I’ll check my globe, but I’m pretty sure there is no Sea of Debt. This one is probably the most common of all my pet peeves. The next time I hear “literally” misused, my head is going to explode. Literally.

ryane vacationRyane is an English Education major at SUU

~Enjoy your Coffee Break!

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