Guest Rant – A Real African Dog
by Donna Hansen

One day Baby’s friend from across the street, Z, started pounding on our front door. I opened it, my first mistake.

“Where’s Baby? There’s a hurt bird out here he has to see!” Z exclaimed.

I thought ‘Boys and their desire for the Horrific.’

While Baby went outside to inspect the injured bird, I put Boomer the Basset Hound in the backyard, his Kingdom, and went out to start the truck. We had errands to run. I pulled around the corner to grab that child of mine. He and Z were watching the bird flutter around only about an inch off the ground. The poor thing would fly a foot or two and fall back to the ground. While it looked ok, it definitely wasn’t. As it was fluttering around it flapped through our chain link fence into Boomer the Basset Hound’s Kingdom.

Whatever came next couldn’t have a happy ending. Those with delicate indispositions may want to stop reading now.

Boomer the Basset Hound soon noticed the disabled bird and started barking at it. Then he opened wide and scooped it up in his mouth. The bird sure didn’t like that! He fought and Boomer the Basset Hound had to let him go. The bird fluttered frantically away from the big beast. But he wasn’t fast enough in his crippled condition. Boomer the Basset Hound barked and tried to eat the bird again. The bird fought back again and got away for a moment.

At this point I decided there was only one probable outcome and the children would be devastated that Boomer the Basset Hound could be so cruel. I put Baby in the truck and instructed his friend to go home. I blatantly lied to them and said the bird would get away but needed to be left alone. I fled the scene. I didn’t even call 911.

For several days Baby talked about how the bird got away until he discovered a dead bird in our backyard! He was distressed that Boomer the Basset Hound could do something so inhuman. I tried to explain the Circle of Life but as I looked upon his blank face I realized he’s never seen Lion King. So I related it to Secondhand Lions, his favorite movie, and that seemed to placate him. I told him:

“Boomer the Basset Hound is a real African Dog.”

Donna Hansen is a recent college grad and has her dream job, part-time Accountant. She enjoys sewing, reading, cooking, camping, traveling, blogging, and whole host of other things that she never seems to be able to fit into her busy schedule. You can find her other somewhat amusing stories at www.donnandkids.blogspot.com.