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Well, here it is – the holiday I’m sure you’ve waited all year for: National Kick Butt Day on Oct. 10. One has to wonder just how much leeway we’re afforded on this holiday. Are we to take it literally? Or figuratively? If someone breaks in front of you at the check-out, can you give ‘em a swift kick, declare the holiday and get away with it? Or are we better served to simply say, “I outta kick your butt…” ? I’ll let you figure this one out for yourself, while keeping of course, to a certain high standard of decorum, please.

As if that’s not enough, we celebrate International Moment of Frustration Scream Day on Oct. 12. I feel compelled to point out that this one has not only been elevated to an international observance, someone added “Scream” to the end. Scary stuff, indeed. It’s almost beginning to sound like a week for hotheads, isn’t it?

Maybe we can help things along with Free Thought Day, which also falls on Oct. 12. I presume it’s a day to simply allow your thoughts to roam, uh… freely. Maybe you can send up happy thoughts to quell all that negative thinking caused by our first two holidays. All in all, it’s sounding like a good week to stay in the house.

Be Bald and Be Free Day lands on Oct. 14. No, it’s not a typo. Whatever floats your boat, here. I imagine some bald person had said, “enough is enough, we’re  people, too,” and instituted this day. To which I’d respond, “who said you’re weren’t people?” Quite frankly, many a bald man is a handsome man. So there.

National Grouch Day is Oct. 15. Here we go again with the bad attitudes…

On Oct. 17, we celebrate Wear Something Gaudy Day. Remember the TV show Three’s Company? Well, in one episode, Larry, the used car salesman, declared that it was, in fact, Wear Something Gaudy Day. It stuck.

Much of the attire from  the 1970s – and in retrospect, that show – was pretty gaudy if memory serves. So if you still have your brightly colored bell bottoms or jumpsuits, drag ‘em out of the attic. Add some flashy jewelry and massive curls to your hair and you’ll be good to go.

Until next week, get your party on!


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