Coffee Break with Liz and Kate » Headline, Liz's Rants » Don’t paint your nails, Mom – Liz’s rant
Don’t paint your nails, Mom – Liz’s rant
I was really hoping to jump right into Fourth of July preparations today, seeings how the celebrating America’s independence is right up there with Christmas as far as I’m concerned. But the festivities will have to wait. Because I – or should I say, my son – apparently has issues with finger nail polish where all things “mom” are concerned. It’s the darndest thing, I tell ya.
My first hint that something was wrong came a few nights ago, when I came out of Hannah’s room with her basket of 847 bottles of nail polish, to see if somewhere in the mix there might possibly be a bottle of bright red (the perfect color for the 4th of July).
“What are you doing, Mom?”
“I’m going to paint my nails. Do you mind?”
“Yes. Don’t paint your nails. You’re perfect just like you are.”
Oh is that right? I thought.
“So what’s up with that? Why do you have issues with me painting my nails? Hannah paints her nails.”
“Yes, but I’ve known her all my life and she’s always painted her nails.”
“You’ve known me all your life, too, knucklehead.”
“Well that’s different.”
Why we continued this discussion was beyond me – I know better than to reason with the unreasonable 
. So I dropped it.
Enter yesterday’s trip to the store. Colton was helping me get everything out of the cart and on to the self-checkout, when all of a sudden his whole demeanor changed.
“What is your problem, son?”
“I’ll tell you in the car,” he said, with his face looking like he’d just seen a ghost.
Once we got to the car, he dispensed with his usually helpful attitude and hopped straight in, never saying a word. Until I got in and started the car.
“Is that fingernail polish for Hannah?”
“Nope. It’s mine. Isn’t it pretty?”
“Mom, I told you I didn’t want you to paint your nails.”
Here we go again, I thought.
I spent a good five minutes trying to figure out what his issue was. Was he attacked by a giant display of nail polish in another life? Had someone with painted nails been mean to him? Is he allergic to the smell of fresh polish? Am a raising a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG?!?!?!
I mentioned all the women we know who paint their nails – especially women in the family.
“Even Nan paints her nails?” he asked looking like he’d just lost his best friend.
“Yes, even Nan. So look here, mister. You’re gonna have to come up with some solid reasoning if you want me to even consider your request.
“Look at it this way, Mom. I don’t mind that you wear earrings.”
“You’re darn right, you don’t mind. And I have half a mind to go buy a pair the size of basketballs, just because I can. You don’t make these decisions.”
Stumped for any rhyme or reason for his hatred of me with red nails – or any other color, for that matter – I once again dropped the whole discussion, at least where he was concerned. Now, I’m on my own quest to find out what possible reasons he could have for the anti-nail polish stance, and I don’t care who I have to consult.
“Oh, and Mom, don’t tell anyone I said that about you painting your nails, OK?”
“OK, Colton. I wont say a word…”
At least not until this bright red nail polish dries…
-Liz
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Filed under: Headline, Liz's Rants · Tags: attitude, coffee break with liz and kate, humor, kids, liz's rant, motherhood, nail polish
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Aren’t little boys the funniest things?! I remember several years ago when my son was in pre-school and I had dropped him off in the morning with my typical shoulder-length hair and picked him up with a new, much shorter do. I loved it and I expected him to love it too. He took one look at me and burst into tears. The tears weren’t because he didn’t like my new haircut, they were because in his mind his mother had a certain kind of hair. It was something he could count on, it was something that always was, and always would be. And then all of the sudden the rug was pulled out from under his feet and he was slapped in the face with the thought that things in life aren’t always controllable or predictable.
Maybe Colton has always associated nail polish with his sister, and probably her friends, and has never stopped to consider that his mom would ever want to paint her nails. In his mind, that’s not a mom thing, but a sister thing. Here’s my suggestion, which might be silly but it’s all I’ve got for you, try wearing a lighter shade of polish for a few days so he can get used to the idea that those pretty nails are on the hands of his mom, and that those hands are the same wonderful hands that have always held his hand or rubbed his back. Then work up to that bright 4th of July red in a few days.
Let me know how it goes. Love ya, Kate
Kate is so right. Our kids sure don’t like change, especially when it comes to their parents. When I was taken out of Primary (Children’s Sunday School) and put in with the grown women my oldest boy would have absolutely nothing to do with the new Primary leaders for a few weeks. And when some Cub Scout leaders were changed my oldest balked again. My middle boy couldn’t stop staring and giggling at me when I got new glasses. And my youngest would have nothing to do with me when I got back from a 10-day trip even though I was off fighting Dragons at my Castle in Scotland (true story). Good luck with the nail polish! Maybe go for white with some small blue stars, not quite as bright as red.
Leave it to two moms to be voices of reason
I may give the lighter shade with a couple of stars a whirl. Lord knows I won’t get away with the red! Kids… go figure. Now on to the dragon slaying in Scotland, please, Donna… Sounds like a great guest column!
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My son freaked out a few months ago when I got a manicure. He was looking at me funny then started crying. We are about to leave on a 2 week vacation so I just got a manicure today and had very light polish put on. He reacted almost the same way. I guess it is a sensory issue. He is currently being evaluated for Aspergers. He’s bright and outgoing but has little quirks. I may have to remove the polish before our trip. Poor kid seemed traumatized.