We have an amazingly strange week of holidays this week, beginning with none other than Doo Dah Parade Day on Jan. 18.  Oddly enough, there are several days of the year when this one is celebrated, and apparently Pasadena has quite the parade (not on the 18th…). but since I can’t figure out what the sam hill this one is all about, let’s all break out in a round of Camp Town Ladies sing this song… doo dah… doodah… and leave well enough alone, shall we?

Rid the World of Fad Diets and Gimmicks Day follows on Jan. 18. While I think the originators of this day probably had the best of intentions, I don’t see this one ever happening. Fad diets and gimmicks have been around since food itself. Might I suggest that the best way to celebrate this one would be to drop any fad diet just for today – and dream of a world where you could eat whatever you wanted and dare anyone to stop you.

On Jan. 22 we celebrate Answer Your Cats Questions Day. In truth, I’d be more inclined to turn this one around on all the cats of the world. While I don’t presently own a cat, I do babysit the neighbor’s cat from time to time. And I have a few questions I’d like to ask. Things like:

• Why must you fly past me as I’m walking down the stairs? Do you really want to see me fall and break a limb? Is it that important that you’re always first to reach the first floor?
• Why do you jump on the counters when you are clearly aware that such activity is not tolerated?
• Why must you root through my cabinets every time I open a door? That’s just gross.
• Why must you always get into things you aren’t supposed to get into, then dash off with a look of feigned innocence as soon as you see me coming?
• Why don’t I trust you? Hmmm???

I suggest holding interrogations with any cats on your list on this day. I may even borrow the neighbor’s cat for a little celebratory fun. Anywho…

We round out the week with National Handwriting Day on Jan. 23.  In fact, Jan. 17-23 is National Handwriting Analysis Week. I think we can have a little fun with this one, too. Since I’d never urge you to do anything I wouldn’t do, I set out on a mission to find a good, free handwriting analyzer on the internet.

After going through several of the analyzers, I found this rather painless (and free) test that you may want to check out for fun. There are a slew of free handwriting analyzers on the internet, so if you have time, do a little surfing and use more than one analysis.

While I really learned nothing new, it did underscore some of my personality quirks with great accuracy. And since this holiday has its own week, you’ll have plenty of time to change your penmanship, should you feel so inclined.

That’s about it for this week, so until next week, get your party on!

You know how it is when you’ve set your mind on something, and then that something turns out to be nothing like the something you’d set your mind on?

Such was the case last night. I’d purchased a white pizza at the grocery. Spinach, garlic, mozzarella – you know the drill. Probably my all-time favorite pizza. Every time I have it, I’m hearkened back to my life in Florida. I had an apartment on one of the islands, so going home each night meant taking the bridge across the intercoastal, which was a real treat and the ultimate in relaxation on its own.

Anywho… as soon as I drove onto the island, there was a group of shops – gas station, small grocery and a New York pizza joint. Let’s just say that once I discovered the pizza place, I never ordered pizza from anywhere else. To this day, I can still taste that pizza – delicate white cream sauce, garlic cloves, four kinds of cheeses, tomatoes (that was an add-on for me) and spinach.

Apparently, my grocer has never had that experience. Because last night’s pizza had red sauce on it. That’s right. They’d taken a perfectly good pizza and ruined it with red sauce. Not that I don’t like red sauce, just that red sauce has its place. Which is not on a white pizza. Ergo the name – white pizza. UGH.

At first, I thought I could suffer through the grocer’s gross error in judgment. But a piece and a half in, I gave up, silently wondering if white pizza would ever be the same again.

So today, I’m off to find a real white pizza at a real pizza place. There’s a lot to live up to, here, so to all you pizza place owners, you’ve officially been put on notice. When you see me coming through the door, remember – white cream sauce, four cheeses, garlic, tomatoes and spinach. And no matter what, hold the red sauce.

-Liz

How dare someone mess with Liz’s white pizza. Go forth, Liz, and search out a real white pizza, but be sure to pop in a CD of island music, blast the heat in your car on high, and put blinders on so you won’t notice that you are surrounded by dirty snow and bundled up people. And someday can you please take me to your island and treat me to a “real” white pizza?

Let’s get things started with a real splash this week! On Dec. 5, we celebrate Bathtub Party Day, so grab your rubber duckie and some bubbles and hop in the tub. I can see where this one could get a little out of hand, simply because a party typically involves more than one person. So if I were you, I’d proceed with a bit of caution, keeping in mind the naughty and nice lists, as we discussed last week.

Unfortunately, we immediately move into more of a trickle zone. What we have here after Dec. 5 is a serious lack of luster where all things holiday are concerned. I just don’t get it.

No Hoodie Hoo Day, no Wear Different Colored Socks Day, or even a She’s Funny That Way Day.

Oh no. The rest of the week, we’re stuck with holidays like Weary Willie Day on Dec. 9, where we remember a clown. Or Nobel Prize Day on Dec. 10. Don’t even get me started on this one.

Of course there’s always International Mountain Day on Dec 11. While I don’t know what the real meaning behind celebrating this day is, I have to point out that I skied/slid down Les Diablerets in my younger years and remember praying I wouldn’t fall off the edge during my slide and plummet a million feet to certain death. If that doesn’t get your blood flowing, I don’t know what will. Just not sure it’s cause for celebration (at least for those who like me).

This holiday lull may be part of a bigger strategy, though, because we have bigger things to do, right now. Things like crafting our way to Christmas, shopping ’til we drop, and creating that perfect aura of Christmas (which is getting really close, guys). Maybe that’s the reason for the slack-off where other holidays are concerned.

Or maybe not. Next week has a couple of doozies lined up. So trim the tree and deck the halls while you can.

Next week, be ready to get your party on!

Well, here we are. A few short days until Thanksgiving – and a bang-up list of holidays to explore (give me my dreams, ok?).

Actually, things really don’t get going until Nov. 24 with Celebrate Your Unique Talents Day. Oh sure. I can celebrate my multiple talents all day long (and you could, too). But the trick on this day is to celebrate talents unique to each of us. Hmm. Maybe we could change this one to FIND Your Unique Talent Day. But no one asked me.

Tie One On Day lands on Nov. 24, so if you’re planning on doing some Turkey Day Eve cooking, you may want to tie one on after your work in the kitchen is done.

Flossing Day, Buy Nothing Day, Sinkie Day and Your Welcomegiving Day are all rotating holidays, falling on the Friday after Thanksgiving every year. While the first two are self-explanatory, and the last one is just stupid, Sinkie Day may need a little explanation. It’s the one day of the year where we’re given the all-clear to eat over the kitchen sink. (Actually, I do that just about every time I’m the only one in the house.)

Should you need any ideas for this one, the best leftovers for over-the-sink eating would have to be a turkey sandwich, with dressing, gravy and cranberry sauce on top.And when you’re done eating, be sure to floss

Until next week – get your party on!

While you figure out the best ways to celebrate these holidays, don’t forget to send us your favorite crafty Christmas ideas! Email lizandkate@live.com!

Greetings, partiers. Let’s jump right into the thick of it where all-things-holiday are concerned. Nov. 14 is Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day. So please. Lighten up a bit, celebrate these three rather lame holidays, and remember that a bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two-tired… ugh…

Moving right along… Nov. 15 is I Love To Write Day. This is certainly one I can identify with, since I write for a living. As as all writers know, just because we do what we love and love what we do, there are days when the words just don’t flow.

I think that’s easy enough to explain – writer’s block, lack of inspiration, or a cluttered mind stand in the way of all writers at one time or another. So for all of those out there who write for a living, I think the best way to celebrate is by focusing on the love of the craft. Give yourself a day off from the pen and paper or keyboard, and remove the pressure of producing for 24 hours. Let’s just relish in the fact that we love to write, today! For tomorrow, we write.

Push Button Phone Day is Nov. 18. I’m sure there are those of you who ask, “is there another form of dialing?” Indeed there is – or at least was. I remember the old rotary phones well and really hated having to dial anything past a five. Talk about your time wasters. I bet we waited at least two or three seconds for that dial to work its way back around when we had to dial a zero. Whew. Of course, we couldn’t play songs on rotary phones either. Talk about a rough life…

We also celebrate Married to a Scorpio on the 18th. I was married to a Scorpio. As far as I’m concerned, it wasn’t a cause to celebrate. So, today I will once again rebel, and celebrate the fact that I’m not married to a Scorpio, anymore. (Sorry all you male Scorpios… I’m sure you’re not like him )

World Toilet Day and Have a Bad Day Day are Nov. 19. I’ll just say my time is more valuable than to do anything else than mention these two. Find your own way to party is either of these days float your boat.

We’ll round out this week with Name Your PC Day which falls on Nov. 20. I’ll start. While a name like Viral or Old Fogey would probably fit, I’d rather be able to call my PC a Mac

Until next week, get your party on!

When I think of the phrase “aid and abet,” the first word that comes to mind is: illegal. So as we celebrate Abet and Aid Punsters Day on Nov. 8, I trust you will take the high road, keeping your own abetting and aiding in check, please.

I think we all have a punster inside – I know I do. In fact, family dinners are often loaded with puns and jabs and crazy jokes that find us doing a lot of eye-rolling. Here’s a site that’s devoted to puns. Check it out, then see if you and your family can come up with your own as this day unfolds. In my opinion, the more eyes that roll, the better!

Nov. 8 is also Cook Something Bold and Pungent Day. Cabbage, kraut and garlic-heavy recipes come to mind. If you pull out your creativity, you could probably think of a few puns to go along with your meal.

Moving right along – in fact, moving all the way into the weekend – Nov. 13 is Domino Day. Apparently, people gather to build and topple dominoes – millions of dominoes. So, if that’s your thing, check out this site, which has tons of photos and videos. Pretty cool to watch.

Keep in mind, as I told you last week, holidays are slim pickins right now. Take comfort, though. We’re only two and a half weeks away from Turkey Day!

Until next week, get your party on!

Happy Halloween, Coffee Break readers! I’m sure you’re busy putting the finishing touches on that award-winning costume as Halloween music fills the house. Hopefully, the pumpkins are carved and you’re ready for All Hallow’s Eve. Might I take this moment to suggest thatwhipping up a ghoulishly great pre-Trick-or-Treat dinner.

Perhaps by design, the wacky holidays are rather slim pickins after today – at least for the next couple of week. But by mid-month, the action picks up again.

Let’s start with Sandwich Day on Nov. 3. Certainly we’d all agree that there’s nothing particularly strange about sandwiches, but I do find it odd that sandwiches would need their own holiday. What do I know…

Perhaps the funniest sandwich story comes from Iran, where, in 2008, participants went to work building the World’s Largest Sandwich. Stretching nearly a mile in length, the ostrich meat-based fare required more than 1,000 volunteers to slap this sandwich together. At some point, the natives grew restless and the tale of the world’s largest sandwich hopeful took a decided turn for the worse. The crowd, exhibiting even less sense than patience, dug into the sandwich, devouring it in a matter of minutes, leaving no evidence behind save a few crumbs here and there.

Which brings us to our next holiday on Nov. 4 – a holiday that could have sealed the Iranians spot in the record book of sandwiches: Use Your Common Sense Day. If only they’d have known…

What saddens me most is that common sense needs a holiday. How hard is it to employ a little bit of common sense on a daily basis, people?

This common sense thing ties right in with another holiday celebrated on Nov. 4 – National Men Make Dinner Day. I think anyone having just a little common sense would know that any man willing to make dinner only on one lone night of the year might find himself a little lonely – not to mention quite hungry.

On Nov. 6, we have the prime opportunity to get rid of the wrinkling faces of our Jack-O-Lanterns as we celebrate Pumpkin Chunkin’ Days (which actually runs through Nov. 8). I’m sure this one is self-explanatory – bust your pumpkins into pieces before disposing of it. You could employ a variety of techniques to dismember Jack. Drop from a balcony, attack with a hammer, run over him with your car – you get the point. Take the chunks and see who can toss one the farthest, or pretend the pieces are a puzzle and see if you can re-assemble Jack. Clearly the ways this holiday can be celebrated are numerous, limited only to your imagination.

A word of caution though, should you decide to go chunkin’ pumpkin at passers-by, cars, homes and the like. Please employ some common sense.

Until next week, get your party on!

We kick off this week of wacky holidays with Make A Difference Day, which is  Oct. 24. Suffice to say that after life evaluation stuff last week, you’ll probably have some sense as to how you, too, can make a difference. But before you get too carried away, I’d like to point out that making a difference doesn’t necessarily mean something good. Which is why I think the phrase “make a difference” is pretty lame. Hitler “made a difference.” Stalin “made a difference.” See where I’m going here? Evil, evil people can make a difference, too. So if you’re gonna celebrate this one, which could really be construed as just about anything, stay on your guard. If you can’t clearly define exactly what you’re making, you may want to sit this one out.

Instead, bring out the lemons, pucker up, and get those saliva glands rolling and we’ll celebrate the ever-popular Sourest Day, which also lands on Oct. 24. Sounds to me like someone is taking revenge on Sweetest Day, but that’s neither here nor there.

Regardless of this holiday’s history (because I couldn’t find a history…) I suggest taking a look at a slew of sour candies that can be found at this  store.

Cranky Co-Workers Day follows on Oct. 27. You’ll be cranky, too, if you fail to celebrate Sourest Day…

Quite frankly, the holidays seem to go downhill quickly as we approach Halloween, Kate’s second-favorite holiday of the year. We’ve got National Chocolates Day on Oct. 28, and National Candy Corn Day on Oct. 30 (yawn).

But here’s one that may be worth exploring: Haunted Refrigerator Night. This one lands on Oct. 30, too, and, in my view, it stands to wipe National Candy Corn Day off the map if we play our cards right.

There are two ways you can go at this holiday. You could always rig the fridg with spiders or skeletons and the like, invoking instant shock to all who dare open the door.

Or you could simply refuse to clean your refrigerator out and see what kind of monsters and ghouls decide to grow in there. Fresh penicillin, anyone? Let’s remember this about a month beforehand next year, for best effect. If you store the right things for long enough, you won’t need to rig the door to scare people. The sight (and smell) of rotten, moldy food will do the job for you!

Until next week, get your party on!

Remember the TV show Three’s Company? Well, in one episode, Larry, the used car salesman, declared that it was, in fact, Wear Something Gaudy Day. It stuck. So in a way, we’re about to get a jump start on Halloween as we celebrate Wear Something Gaudy Day on Oct. 17.

Much of the attire from the 1970s – and in retrospect, that show – was pretty gaudy if memory serves. So if you still have your brightly colored bell bottoms or jumpsuits, drag ‘em out of the attic. Add some flashy jewelry and massive curls to your hair and you’ll be good to go.

At the grand age of 39 (you LIE!!) I approach our next holiday with a tiny tinge of trepidation, with Evaluate Your Life Day on Oct. 19. You see, when I do things like evaluate my life, I have a tendancy to become even more self-critical than normal. And that’s saying a lot since I’m quite famous for being my own worst critic.

Instead of noting all that is good, I’m prone to listing all the shoulda-coulda-woulda’s, which is when I GET REALLY IRRITATED AND THAT LITTLE VOICE IN MY HEAD SHOUTS AT THE TOP OF ITS LUNGS, BEGGING ME TO QUESTION WHAT I’M REALLY DOING IN THIS GAME OF LIFE!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You probably think I’m yelling, now.

To the contrary. I’ve just shown you how to combine holidays! CAPS LOCK DAY IS OCT. 22.

Now that we’re having more fun than should be allowed, let’s move along.

Oct. 23 is National Mole Day. Take a wild guess as to what this holiday commemorates. Here are your choices:

1. Spies
2. Those pesky little creatures that get into gardens and dig tunnels
3. A basic measuring unit in chemistry, known as Avogadro’s Number, which is 6.02 x 10^2

Made your guess? Good. Now watch this totally strange video to see if you answered correctly:

I think that’s about all the time we have to devote to Mole Day, don’t you?

In fact, I think we’re about spent at this point. So until next week, get your party on!

Well, here it is – the holiday I’m sure you’ve waited all year for: National Kick Butt Day on Oct. 10. One has to wonder just how much leeway we’re afforded on this holiday. Are we to take it literally? Or figuratively? If someone breaks in front of you at the check-out, can you give ‘em a swift kick, declare the holiday and get away with it? Or are we better served to simply say, “I outta kick your butt…” ? I’ll let you figure this one out for yourself, while keeping of course, to a certain high standard of decorum, please.

As if that’s not enough, we celebrate International Moment of Frustration Scream Day on Oct. 12. I feel compelled to point out that this one has not only been elevated to an international observance, someone added “Scream” to the end. Scary stuff, indeed. It’s almost beginning to sound like a week for hotheads, isn’t it?

Maybe we can help things along with Free Thought Day, which also falls on Oct. 12. I presume it’s a day to simply allow your thoughts to roam, uh… freely. Maybe you can send up happy thoughts to quell all that negative thinking caused by our first two holidays. All in all, it’s sounding like a good week to stay in the house.

Be Bald and Be Free Day lands on Oct. 14. No, it’s not a typo. Whatever floats your boat, here. I imagine some bald person had said, “enough is enough, we’re  people, too,” and instituted this day. To which I’d respond, “who said you’re weren’t people?” Quite frankly, many a bald man is a handsome man. So there.

National Grouch Day is Oct. 15. Here we go again with the bad attitudes…

On Oct. 17, we celebrate Wear Something Gaudy Day. Remember the TV show Three’s Company? Well, in one episode, Larry, the used car salesman, declared that it was, in fact, Wear Something Gaudy Day. It stuck.

Much of the attire from  the 1970s – and in retrospect, that show – was pretty gaudy if memory serves. So if you still have your brightly colored bell bottoms or jumpsuits, drag ‘em out of the attic. Add some flashy jewelry and massive curls to your hair and you’ll be good to go.

Until next week, get your party on!

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